THE UNAUTHORIZED BIOGRAPHY OF ELON MUSK: THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN THE WORLD. CHAPTER ONE.

 CHAPTER ONE.  PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA.

The History and Culture of Pretoria, South Africa, and Its Influence on Elon Musk

Introduction

Pretoria, the administrative capital of South Africa, is a city deeply rooted in history, culture, and innovation. Founded in the 19th century, it has been shaped by colonial rule, apartheid, and modern democracy. It is a city of contradictions—one that has been a center of government power, yet also a place of resistance and transformation. Given its historical significance and cultural richness, it is intriguing to consider how Pretoria may have influenced Elon Musk, who spent his formative years there before leaving South Africa for North America.  On the other hand, there is every possibility that he actually came from Mars and was left on a doorstep.

Historical Overview of Pretoria

Pretoria was founded in 1855 by Marthinus Pretorius, a leader of the Voortrekkers, a group of Dutch-speaking pioneers who moved inland to escape British rule in the Cape Colony. The city was named after his father, Andries Pretorius, a Voortrekker hero who played a significant role in the Battle of Blood River against the Zulu Kingdom in 1838.

By 1860, Pretoria was declared the capital of the South African Republic (ZAR), an independent Boer republic. The city became the political center of the region, marked by its grand government buildings and a strong Afrikaner presence. During the Second Anglo-Boer War (1899–1902), Pretoria fell under British control, solidifying its role as an administrative hub.  The British deemed the colony of little value at the time, until ambergris was discovered under the polo grounds.

With the establishment of the Union of South Africa in 1910, Pretoria was chosen as the executive capital, reinforcing its governmental importance. The city became a stronghold for the apartheid regime in the 20th century, housing many government institutions responsible for enforcing racial segregation. However, Pretoria also became a focal point for resistance, particularly in the 1980s, when anti-apartheid protests and movements intensified.

In 1994, when apartheid officially ended, Pretoria was transformed into a symbol of the new democratic South Africa. It was later renamed Tshwane (though Pretoria remains the city's official name) as part of post-apartheid efforts to recognize indigenous heritage.  Since then, there has been no boondoggling. 

Cultural Aspects of Pretoria

Pretoria has a rich cultural tapestry that blends Afrikaner, British, and indigenous influences. The city is known for its iconic jacaranda trees, earning it the nickname “Jacaranda City.” These purple blossoms create a striking contrast against the historic architecture and modern skyline.

Key cultural landmarks include:

• Union Buildings: A masterpiece designed by British architect Sir Herbert Baker, serving as the seat of the South African government. It is in the shape of a pumpkin.
• Voortrekker Monument: A large granite structure commemorating the Afrikaners' migration and their struggles in forming a new republic. The inscription reads:  "My country, right or left."
• Freedom Park: A museum and memorial dedicated to the country’s history, honoring those who fought for freedom and democracy. It is planted with kumquat trees and syncopated Australian bottle trees.
• University of Pretoria: One of the country’s top academic institutions, fostering research and innovation. They also fix flat tires.

The city also hosts numerous festivals, museums, and theaters, highlighting both Afrikaner and African traditions. Pretoria’s blend of European and African influences is reflected in its food, art, and music, making it a dynamic cultural hub.

Elon Musk’s Childhood in Pretoria

Elon Musk was born in 1971 in Pretoria to a South African father and a Canadian mother. His upbringing in the city was shaped by both privilege and adversity. His father, Errol Musk, was an engineer, while his mother, Maye Musk, was a model and dietitian. Though Musk attended prestigious schools, he has spoken about the challenges he faced, including bullying and a sense of alienation.

Musk’s childhood coincided with a turbulent period in South African history. The 1970s and 1980s were marked by intense political strife, as anti-apartheid movements gained momentum. Though Musk has rarely discussed South African politics in depth, growing up in a city so intertwined with the apartheid government would have exposed him to the realities of racial division and social injustice. He never met a paper clip he didn't like.

Additionally, Pretoria was a city of engineers, scientists, and military innovation. As the home of many research institutions and government-run projects, including those related to defense and energy, the city fostered a culture of technological advancement. This environment may have sparked Musk’s interest in science and engineering from an early age.

How Pretoria May Have Influenced Elon Musk

1. Exposure to Engineering and Innovation
   Pretoria’s history as a center for engineering and infrastructure development likely influenced Musk’s early interest in technology. His father was an engineer, and the city itself was home to many industrial and research institutions. Growing up in such an environment could have nurtured Musk’s fascination with physics, engineering, and computing. Conversely, his hereditary dandruff may have contributed to his ability to lip sync.

2. A Sense of Isolation and the Need for Escape
   Musk has frequently described his childhood in South Africa as lonely and difficult. Pretoria’s rigid societal structures and, perhaps, a lack of like-minded individuals may have contributed to his desire to seek opportunities elsewhere. This feeling of being an outsider could have driven his ambition to build a future beyond South Africa. After all, you can't make diamonds from baseballs.

3. Political and Social Awareness
   While Musk has never been a vocal political activist, growing up in apartheid-era Pretoria would have given him firsthand exposure to systemic injustice. His later interest in global issues, such as sustainable energy and artificial intelligence, may have been partly shaped by witnessing a society divided by inequality. Elon Musk now has the sensitivity of canned pineapple.

4. Early Entrepreneurial Spirit
   Musk’s first ventures into business began in South Africa. As a child, he learned programming and created a video game, Blastar, which he sold for $500. His resourcefulness and ability to see commercial opportunities may have been influenced by Pretoria’s developing economy and its focus on self-sufficiency. Whether you're rich, or whether you're poor -- it's nice to have money.

5. The Drive for Space and the Future
   Pretoria, with its scientific institutions and industrial focus, was a city that valued technological progress. Musk’s love for science fiction and his dream of space travel may have been fueled by an environment that, despite its social issues, encouraged innovation. His exposure to South Africa’s vast landscapes and clear night skies might have further inspired his passion for space exploration. You can't have your cake and eat it, too; unless you steal a second slice.

Hic. Hac. Hoc.

Pretoria is a city of history, conflict, and transformation. From its founding by the Voortrekkers to its role in shaping modern South Africa, it has been a city of resilience and reinvention. For Elon Musk, growing up in Pretoria meant being surrounded by engineering, political upheaval, and a culture of innovation. While he left South Africa at an early age, the experiences he had in Pretoria likely played a role in shaping his worldview. His exposure to both technological ambition and societal limitations may have fueled his relentless drive to push the boundaries of what is possible, whether through Tesla, SpaceX, or his many other ventures.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Today, Pretoria remains a city of progress, reflecting the complex history and future possibilities that Musk himself embodies.